Sunday, November 8, 2009


More and more lately, I'm thinking about the things I truly value as a person. I guess I might be doing the typical quarter-life-crisis thing, taking stock of my life and figuring out what's important in the big picture, but hey, let me be self-indulgent for a moment.

In a weird way, regret is pretty high on the list. It's not healthy to dwell on regret, of course, but it's important to feel it. People are flawed, they make mistakes - I sure as hell have said and done things I wish I could take back, but that's how we learn and grow. Regret is important because it's what drives you to do better the next time, it's what makes you learn from your mistakes. Most people see it as mostly or entirely negative, many live their lives dismissing regret, sometimes just ignoring it outright... but I think they're missing the point. It's only as negative or positive as what you take from it, and what you do in the future because of it. It's important for people to strive to be better, and I feel that owning your regrets -- at least my own, to me -- is a big part of that.

Because I'm lucky to live in a part of the world that affords me so much of it, I have to say that I value freedom. If you have the means to read this, safe wager says you're probably pretty fucking lucky yourself.

On that note, appreciation. We all get bogged down with routine and random badness, and all too often let it get us cynical. I'm probably more guilty of this than most. I need to remind myself more often to take a step back and look at the people I'm lucky to know and have in my life, the opportunities I've had and continue to have every day. Pretty simple stuff there, but important.

The one thing I value most is honesty. Which I hope is right up there at the top for most people. Life's a messy business even at the best of times, but dishonesty and deceit always make it messier. I'd rather hear something I don't necessarily like hearing than be left in the dark or lied to. If I do something stupid or wrong, it's helpful to hear it. If I create something that sucks, it's still good to get that feedback. I may not always agree, but every bit helps me see things from a broader perspective and become, hopefully, a better person overall.

Anyway. Not a cohesive or even particularly intelligent posting here, but I felt like writing something. Ramble ramble.


  1. Well said, Bry. I feel the same.

  2. i agree for the most part - but - i do try to live without regrets in the first place. yes, you need to own them and use them to learn, however i think living without regret is more of a decision making process. i've started this in the past couple years, and well, it pushes me to take risks that i wouldn't have. risks, that i'd say have vastly improved my quality of life in that span of time.
    i do agree with you on the rest for sure and might add health and education to that list of things as well. cheers!

  3. Right... I can agree with that, Mel. I guess I see it as, remembering and owning your past regrets can help you live without them in the future. I've had plenty of opportunities I've missed, risks I probably should have taken but for whatever reason opted not to, so I think it's helpful to try to remember those times when a similar situation comes up in the present.

    (Which, if I actually follow through, should at least keep life interesting. In theory?)

  4. Well said. I think I was going to say something about being careful not to get bogged down by regrets, but I like your reply to Mel's comment, so in the end... I concur.

  5. yes bry i definitely agree. i've actually even toyed with the idea of doing some things now, that i should have done years ago. ie. telling my high school crush/best friend at the time that i loved him, and even though nothing will ever happen now - that maybe he'd like to know that. or it could just be insanely weird to do that.
    anyway, i've definitely learned that - especially in cases of relationships - it's better to go for broke than to 'lay on the living room floor' wondering "what if?" forever.
    i like this discussion. will it be another 6 months before you post again tho ;)