Thursday, December 1, 2011

The Difference

The big difference between me at the beginning of the year and me now at the end is that my dreams aren't haunting me anymore, they're reassuring me. I wake up so often now, feeling like my brain just gave me a hug and told me, "You're doing all right! Stay the course, good buddy!" (My brain is goofy, but I like it.)

Change seems to be a regular topic with me. Or at least it feels like it's been my basic theme this year. There's been a lot of it, and it's been really positive, overall. It's important to take these regular moments to appreciate that, and my immediate response is always to share that in some way, to talk about it - or write about it, in this case.

Today I posted the 81st "Welcome to Hereafter" comic, and this week the site's been active for a full year. I started drawing the comic sporadically in January 2009, posting them to my now-long-dead LiveJournal. I had no schedule. I had no discipline. Things went on this way for well over a year, and this meant I had very little to show for that time.

Toward the end of 2010, I was staring down the barrel of 27 ("officially in my late 20s," I'd say to myself) and decided I had to get serious about things before that imaginary switch clicked over. I understand now that the difference between 26 and 27 is meaningless, but buying into this mindset, seeing periods of life as a series of "levels", was actually pretty helpful at the time. I got to work. I set a schedule, I made a website, and I brought the comic back to life. Back then, I felt the need to have something, some outlet, some product to show for my time and energy. Something tangible. A year later, I don't see it quite the same way.

I took a hiatus from the comic earlier in the year when I was dealing with a lot of changes in my life and just couldn't feel the drive to work on it regularly. That drive came back, but it came back different - less about a feeling of need, now more out of simple enjoyment. I like doing it, and I'll keep doing it as long as that enjoyment lasts. I'm learning from it in a lot of ways. Getting comments and compliments from readers -- total strangers to me beforehand -- is a more recent development. And how amazing is that? Even one person who enjoys something I've done and feels the urge to tell me about it... That's huge. That means an absolute ton to me. So cool.

Not much else I feel like writing about right now, so here are yet more pictures of my best buddy and loyal ally, Logan:

You can't tell me that last picture isn't the cutest thing you've ever seen. You just can't.

And hey, wrapping this up with a really great song my friend Mike introduced me to a while back, but I kept forgetting the name of - "When I'm Small" by Phantogram:


  1. Cool song, thought I have to ask - if she was flat chested and had short hair, would the director's entire vision for the video be destroyed?
    I mean, aside from that puddle thing.

    Also - congrats on the Hereafter Anniversary!
    Glad to see it's continuing :)

  2. Ha! I can imagine the process: "So we have a pretty limited budget here and can't afford an expensive set or a lot of fancy tricks. HOW can we make this video memorable!?"
    (And speaking as the target audience, I won't lie, it's super effective.)

    Thanks a lot, Mel! It's been a pretty great experience so far, and I've had a lot of support. Think I'll keep at it. :)

  3. (Though to be fair, I might be more critical of the video if I didn't *really* dig the song...)